I’ve been hiding away my thoughts for quite some time. But now I am at peace with how I feel…at least I am today. My humanity is every present with me in my walk with Christ and I am so thankful for His understanding and tolerance…it puts a whole new meaning to His grace and mercy. I sho nuf need it!
I have been thinking a lot about my struggles as a single women at 29. A lot of this comes from spending so much of my youth dreaming and planning for marriage (even saving myself) and then to find myself still single, it is hard for me to move beyond today. Beyond right now, my life makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. At 29 I wanted to be married 4 years ago, building my home and savings account to prepare for our first child 1 year ago and by now I’d be a stay at home mom. Hahaha! There are things about that plan that I am glad didn’t come true. After all I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and there is no way to know but I doubt that would have happened had I married at 25.
Still I feel lost and my life has little purpose. This is where everyone comes in and says “that’s not true, you are God’s child, and blah blah blah” or “how could you feel that way??” blah blah blah…. Okay well let me explain what I mean by little purpose. I mean that the purpose of my life is the same that it has been for the past 29 years…I am a daughter, a sister, and I enjoy helping others. I’ve been doing that all my life. Those things are still important but they don’t have the same meaning they once had.
According Genesis 2:24